This is just a raw journal entry from today. Because not everyday is perfect.
Jan 14th, 2014
How can I be so foolish as to not fill my life with the Words of God? How can I afford not to be memorizing and meditating on God’s Word daily?
There is no victory to the unfed, malnourished warrior.
These past few days as I have been struggling, I have asked God why it is so hard to follow Him. Why when He proclaimed “my yoke is easy and my burden is light?”
God as a loving Father sets a plate of rich food before us– His Word, His very presence. But instead of being still, of feeding on the food He has provided, I foolishly hop up and run out into the battle very near starvation. And I wonder why I fail.
It’s be strong in the Lord and int the power of His might.
And yet I push and push in my own strength until I collapse, too weak to move on.
I begin to wonder where He’s been. I am frustrated with myself for failing again. And in one black moment I believe that victory in the Christian life doesn’t exists.
He approaches me so tenderly. Tears fill His eyes as He sees His beloved weak and beaten in a state of delirium.
And He draws me back to His side.
He forgives me.
He loves me.
He feeds me.
And today I choose to thank God for what I most detest in life–failure. Because failing always ends up bringing me back to Jesus’ side.
Oh Abba, how prone to wander, prone to fail I am. Teach me to feed on Your Word and dwell in Your presence! I praise You for being so faithful to me and always–ALWAYS drawing me back to Yourself. Your mercies are renewed EVERY morning. Great is Your faithfulness. Selah.