Fed and forgiven

This is just a raw journal entry from today. Because not everyday is perfect.

Tuesday
Jan 14th, 2014

How can I be so foolish as to not fill my life with the Words of God? How can I afford not to be memorizing and meditating on God’s Word daily?

There is no victory to the unfed, malnourished warrior.

These past few days as I have been struggling, I have asked God why it is so hard to follow Him. Why when He proclaimed “my yoke is easy and my burden is light?”

God as a loving Father sets a plate of rich food before us– His Word, His very presence. But instead of being still, of feeding on the food He has provided, I foolishly hop up and run out into the battle very near starvation. And I wonder why I fail.

It’s be strong in the Lord and int the power of His might.

Not mine.

And yet I push and push in my own strength until I collapse, too weak to move on.

I begin to wonder where He’s been. I am frustrated with myself for failing again. And in one black moment I believe that victory in the Christian life doesn’t exists.

He approaches me so tenderly. Tears fill His eyes as He sees His beloved weak and beaten in a state of delirium.

And He draws me back to His side.

He forgives me.
He loves me.
He feeds me.

And today I choose to thank God for what I most detest in life–failure. Because failing always ends up bringing me back to Jesus’ side.

Oh Abba, how prone to wander, prone to fail I am. Teach me to feed on Your Word and dwell in Your presence! I praise You for being so faithful to me and always–ALWAYS drawing me back to Yourself. Your mercies are renewed EVERY morning. Great is Your faithfulness. Selah.

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4 thoughts on “Fed and forgiven

    • Sweet Caitlin,
      You’re comment was a blessing to me, and I am humbled that God can use even the bad things in my life for His glory. He is too good.
      Of course you’re free to use it on your blog if you wish. My blog and all on it belongs to the Lord. : ) But thanks for asking.
      May you ever be pulled closer to our Savior!

  1. Grace,

    If I may be so bold to encourage you?

    What an amazing writer you are. I enjoy reading your entries because it’s not about your views on the world, or your profound theology you’ve come to find true, but that your words are so genuine and that they ultimately lead back to Jesus Christ.

    Failure is something I can relate with. I respect you for your humility to talk about it. One scripture in particular has helped me in my multitude of recent failures.

    Romans 8:38-39
    38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    It’s just amazing to know that absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God, through Jesus. I re-read all the things that’s quoted in scripture and think, “Wow, my failures, as great as they are to me, do not measure up to these things..” So I find refuge in Jesus.

    As late as I am on sending this message I hope at the very least this may help in the future. I can’t pretend to know what’s in your heart, Grace, but one thing is for sure. You are In Christ. By this measure alone I know you’re in good hands. The best hands. May your trials bring you closer to our Lord.

    Your brother in Christ

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