Fed and forgiven

This is just a raw journal entry from today. Because not everyday is perfect.

Tuesday
Jan 14th, 2014

How can I be so foolish as to not fill my life with the Words of God? How can I afford not to be memorizing and meditating on God’s Word daily?

There is no victory to the unfed, malnourished warrior.

These past few days as I have been struggling, I have asked God why it is so hard to follow Him. Why when He proclaimed “my yoke is easy and my burden is light?”

God as a loving Father sets a plate of rich food before us– His Word, His very presence. But instead of being still, of feeding on the food He has provided, I foolishly hop up and run out into the battle very near starvation. And I wonder why I fail.

It’s be strong in the Lord and int the power of His might.

Not mine.

And yet I push and push in my own strength until I collapse, too weak to move on.

I begin to wonder where He’s been. I am frustrated with myself for failing again. And in one black moment I believe that victory in the Christian life doesn’t exists.

He approaches me so tenderly. Tears fill His eyes as He sees His beloved weak and beaten in a state of delirium.

And He draws me back to His side.

He forgives me.
He loves me.
He feeds me.

And today I choose to thank God for what I most detest in life–failure. Because failing always ends up bringing me back to Jesus’ side.

Oh Abba, how prone to wander, prone to fail I am. Teach me to feed on Your Word and dwell in Your presence! I praise You for being so faithful to me and always–ALWAYS drawing me back to Yourself. Your mercies are renewed EVERY morning. Great is Your faithfulness. Selah.

More important than service…

I realize that it has been a few months since I posted on my poor little blog… Summer has been busy and full–but it has been a good summer.

Lately because of my brother’s recommendation, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the Gospels. Yesterday I was in Luke 10, and revisited a familiar story.

Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.

And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.

But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. Luke 10: 38-42

After I read it, I realized something dreadful.

I’ve become Martha.

Every time I’ve read that story, I’ve judged Martha and thought, “She had Jesus right there in her house–what was she doing not basking in His presence?!” But I realize, that’s what I’ve done. This summer I’ve had a lot of opportunity for ministry, all of which has blessed me so much. I’ve been to a few different seminars/conferences and learned a lot. It’s all been good.

But…

I’ve become so busy in service and ministry that I haven’t made the time to just sit at the feet of Jesus and worship Him. Just to sit in awe of Him and listen to what He has to say. I feel I’ve done a lot of talking to Him lately, but how much listening have I done lately?

“Grace, Grace, you are careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

That’s what I want, to be a Mary again. To be one that sits at the feet of God and just listens. One whose  focus is steadfast on the Master…one whose heart is full of worship.

“Be still,” He calls, “and know that I am God.”

“Be still, my little “Martha-Grace”…be still. Sit at My feet and listen.”

Well friend, that’s all for now… By God’s grace, this coming week will be much different. Don’t be a Martha, take time, real time (more than 5 minutes) to just bask in the presence of our Lord. He has so much He longs to show and teach us, and He will fill you up so that He may pour you out in service to others. And trust me, your service will have a far greater impact when you worship first.

Are you a Martha, or a Mary?

Crucified with Christ,

Grace

Gal. 2:20, Ps. 16:11

Five Minute Friday: Empty

~Start~

Empty.

That word may very well bring tears to my eyes…not because I’m a “the glass is half empty” kind of person, no, I’m an optimist, my glass is always half full. In fact, my cup overflows.

But emptiness is what I see in my neighbor’s eyes…his heart, his soul, is well, empty. He doesn’t know Christ…and I pray for him, and shed more tears. How many tears do I have to shed and prayers do I have to utter before he comes to Christ? Sometimes I’d like to know…

For a time I followed the world’s “fulfillment”, but it left empty–destitute. So when I look in my neighbor’s eyes I see the emptiness I used to have, and it breaks my heart. Oh, and don’t you know it breaks God’s heart too?

Empty, lost souls…they’re everywhere. Though they may appear to be silent, they scream out for something to fill them. They try to fill their empty God-shaped void with many things, but it only leaves them emptier before. Who will tell them of the Great Fulfiller?

Let your heart be stirred even today, and go share with some empty, lost soul true fulfillment that they be no more empty.

~Stop~